"What’s amazing about the future is that no one has a hold on it. That means no one can tell you for certain what your life will look like, least of all who you will look like this year." - Anonymous
I’m back at work (I say that like I left... if you know me, you know I was still checking my phone for emails and texts all throughout the holidays and my birthday). Anyway, the past two weeks have brought out a lot of feelings and thoughts so I started writing them down. For me, writing helps me get to know myself a little better and ends up being a sort of healing process because I'm getting out the things I needed to say and always feel so much better after I do. Those feelings and thoughts I’ve been having, manifested into a goodbye letter to 2017. If you’re interested, take a few minutes to read it.
You were the best of times, you were the worst of times. But I want to say, “Thank You.” Thank you for being the year where I stepped out of my comfort zone and pursued a life and career I really wanted. You tested me, a lot. I got frustrated, I got angry, and I cried. I cried a lot actually. In fact, Target must love me because I bought a hell of a lot of tissue boxes. Come to think of it, Whole Foods must love me too because I bought a hell of a lot of rosé. But… despite the struggles, of which there were plenty, I learned and grew so much and there’s no better takeaway than wisdom and growth. I started to embrace vulnerability with you (definitely one of the bigger struggles); let’s say we’re taking baby steps with that one so I’ll definitely be packing that with me to take to 2018. I met some amazing people who changed my life. I worked with brands I once dreamt about working with. I grew friendships with people with whom I cherish deeply. I witnessed the appalling behavior of our president and horrific mass shootings in our country, along with natural disasters where people and animals lost their homes. But with that, I witnessed a coming together of people like I’ve never seen before. And while I know we can’t sweep any of the devastation under the rug, being witness to a rise of humans who came together to speak out and help out, made me hopeful. Hopeful that there are more of us who want to create a better EVERYTHING that than there are those who want to hurt and destroy. I’m proud of all of my friends who spoke up, who marched, who offered assistance, and who talked openly about their beliefs. It's not easy to do that.
We’ve been on a pretty crazy roller coaster together, 2017. As much as I wanted to close my eyes and not look down, I kept them open. I committed to the ride and there was no getting off. So those big loops of fear, and crazy free-falls of doubt, and backward upside twists of insecurity all came at me and fast. You pushed the limits on what I thought I could handle and I pushed boundaries and experimented creatively. I’m a little stronger, a little wiser, and a little more courageous. I’m a better version of myself today than I was when I first met you 2017. I survived you! I got off the ride a little more grown up, and you know what, I’m ready for an even bigger ride, it’s called 2018.
I didn’t know how it would feel to say goodbye to you. Part of me wanted to hold on to time a little bit longer and stay on the ride despite the scary parts. I know that’s not possible and as I write this goodbye letter, I'll tell you I'm a little sad. I will never forget you. You were one of the most important years of my life. I will look back at my memories fondly and I am so thankful for everything I have learned despite the struggles. I know there's an even bigger adventure headed my way in 2018 and even bigger obstacles. I'd be lying if I said I weren't nervous. I am. But I've stocked up on my tissue boxes and will be stocking up on my bottles of wine. I'm looking forward to challenging myself in new ways and to facing my fears, and okay fine, to being more vulnerable. I've never really been one to set resolutions. Instead I've set intentions and goals that I wouldn't have been able to do had it not been for you. So I guess this is goodbye 2017. I'm going to walk on over to 2018 now and hop on that roller coaster.
Thanks for the ride,